How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be. ~ Elizabeth Lessor
Fear ran my life for as long as I could remember.
From the terror of the first day of a new school – what if the kids didn’t like me – to the fear that I wasn’t pretty enough for the man I loved to want me in his life.
Fear dictated and I submitted.
Then – at the age of 30 – cancer arrived and new fears descended. The fears of losing my breasts, my hair, or even my life seeped into every corner of my consciousness.
After weeks (or maybe months) of submitting to fear, I finally became indignant. How dare fear limit me! What if I didn’t have the time to do all the things I had planned? What if I had to fit it all in now? I wanted to be someone who said “Hell Yes” to new opportunities rather than the person who brought her pillow and duvet on an overnight trip for fear of not being able to sleep without these pieces of home.
Even with all of this new resolve, leaning into fear has not come easy. I wish I could say that fear is a like a light switch and once you turn it off, it never comes back. But, then, I’d be lying.
Even after a six-week volunteer trip to Africa and a bold blog post about my Big Hairy Audacious Dream to build a non profit for other people impacted by cancer, I almost opted out of a six-month volunteer trip around the world. One country seemed doable, but seven countries in six months seemed like insanity.
The country that terrified me the most?
India.
I had never, ever, felt any desire to travel there.
With the images from the media showing a crush of humanity and my visions of violence and culture shock, India was at the very bottom of my list of places to visit.
When I realized I couldn’t wriggle out of it without looking like a massive hypocrite, I began promoting the trip (and India in particular) with all of the false bravado of a gawky teenage boy desperate to ask the popular girl to the dance.
Thank God, I didn’t opt out. My time in India in 2012 opened me up to the beauty and wonder of this complex, fascinating, and beautiful country.
From sipping sweet chai each morning, to the CCS staff who quickly felt like family, to the women at Mother Teresa’s who expanded my view of the world and showed me the joy of the little moments, to the awe of standing in front of the Taj Mahal, India forever changed me. While I was there, I wrote in my journal about the idea to bring other people impacted by cancer to India – partly because I had fallen in love with the diversity of the country and partly because I wanted to empower people to step into their fears and beyond their preconceived ideas of what was possible.
Since then, India has ignited the hearts of three groups of people impacted by cancer and set the trajectory for their fresh chapters. In March 2016, I’m thrilled to be introducing our next tribe to my home away from home. Do you want to join us?
Applications are open until September 30, 2015. If you’re tempted to say “YES” to a fresh chapter in your life, but you’re nervous about taking the leap or overwhelmed by the thought of fundraising or applying for a scholarship, take a few minutes to submit your application so you can speak to our wonderful team of alumni about their experiences. They are volunteering their time to answer your questions and help you determine if India is right for you.
To learn all of the details and submit your application, visit our program site: A Fresh Chapter India Odyssey: March 2016.
Whether you have been impacted by cancer or not, you are braver than you think. I hope you find more opportunities to say yes to new experiences and choose meaningful adventures over fear.
